"I have been ticcing a ton today. I started off this morning ticing as soon as I got out of bed and pretty much haven’t stopped since. My vocals have been crazy today too. My motors are even worse today than my vocals and they just won’t stop! Urggg I have to do my vocal tic right now, but my parents are upstairs and if I start even a little bit it could get louder than I want it to without my permission. They’re going to leave soon though, and then I will let it out! Thank goodness! They are going to a super bowl party and I am staying home because god knows I have way too much homework and studying and in addition it would be misery to hold back my tics today. Some might slip out in front of my cousins and I can’t have that just yet. I am still waiting on a diagnosis because my neurology appointment was canceled due to a big ice storm that didn’t turn out to be as bad as the meteorologists made it out to be. I have gotten used to it though, this state of uncertainly and waiting. I am surprised with that fact though, I thought I would never get used to it. Gosh my neck is sore right now, but it doesn’t stop me from ticing and making it hurt more. I better get back to my homework. Sigh. Tics + insane homework load + exams in one week + ACT practice test + more and more tics = please someone save me from this misery! I am getting through it though. I am getting used to the waiting and the uncertainty. When I do get my answer though, then I have to get used to knowing which may even be more of a challenge than not knowing. I will see."
Looking back at that I almost can't believe how different everything is now. It has been almost a full year since I was officially diagnosed with Tourette's and things have gotten so much better in terms of my own self-confidence and acceptance of it as well as the ease others around me now feel about it.
This year for the super bowl party, my tics were pretty darn active but that wasn't going to stop me from going to the party. My cousin Kitty said I could bring my boyfriend, Speed Racer, and he was able to get off work for the party(he works as a prep cook at a BBQ place on the weekends). I was hoping that Twitch was going to be there, but it turns out that she couldn't come. Anyway it was a pretty interesting night. I heard Lipstick was going to have a friend over but I didn't know who. When Speed Racer and I got there Kitty was heading out to pick up her friend and invited us to come along. Turns out we were picking up a homeless 20 year old from a bread company. What the heck?!?! Kitty met the guy a few weeks ago and they just became friends. I was doing my loud pokemon noise/eeek tic most of the way of the drive to pick him up and when we met him in the bread co I was getting pretty nervous as to what his reaction would be. He was a scraggly looking skinny white guy (who I will call Duke) who yes indeed did look like he had been living on the streets. He had a worn down sports bag to keep his stuff in, a bag a chips, and a guitar with him. Speed Racer and I were introduced and besides some crude language and a pretty outrageous attitude he seemed kinda maybe more sociable than most homeless people. Later I would find out that he was your typical college drop out who had been kicked out of the house and just didn't have any place to go.
When we got back in the car I knew I was going to start making noises again soon enough. Speed Racer and I sat in the back and Lipstick drove with Duke riding shot gun. Car rides seem to set off my tics for some reason. Within a few minutes sure enough that's exactly what happened. And of course Duke immediately reacted and this is the scene that followed:
Duke: What the fuck was that noise?!? (Turns around)
Me: Oh, Tourette's Syndrome.
Duke: Oh I'm sorry. I thought he was feeling you up back there.
Me: Hahaha, Nope.
Duke: Well out of all the things you could do I think that's the cutest.
And then he tried to imitate my tic by making a high pitched "boop" sound and failed miserably, lol. Yep. That's a homeless college drop out's reaction to Tourette's. Better than I thought it would be, but still I was not too fond of his comments. I get the "oh that's really cute" reaction to that particular tic quite a lot and it usually doesn't bother me too much but I was not to fond of the comment about it sounding like my boyfriend was feeling me up or his attempt to imitate it. Luckily though regardless of Duke's comments he understood and didn't comment on it the next time I ticced or any other time for the rest of the night. All 4 of us spent the evening down in Lipstick's basement watching the super bowl. I was ticcing for a good portion of the time, and of course Kitty and Speed Racer didn't mind because they are so used to it and I am pretty sure Duke was okay with it too. He didn't make any other comments on it that would make me think otherwise. Overall, I think they all seemed more preoccupied with Duke's stories of legal offences, run ins with the cops, drug experiences, and how he manages to eat most of his daily meals. It was kind of interesting though I'd have to admit. Maybe i'll do my next documentary about homeless street kids. Lol.
When we got back in the car I knew I was going to start making noises again soon enough. Speed Racer and I sat in the back and Lipstick drove with Duke riding shot gun. Car rides seem to set off my tics for some reason. Within a few minutes sure enough that's exactly what happened. And of course Duke immediately reacted and this is the scene that followed:
Duke: What the fuck was that noise?!? (Turns around)
Me: Oh, Tourette's Syndrome.
Duke: Oh I'm sorry. I thought he was feeling you up back there.
Me: Hahaha, Nope.
Duke: Well out of all the things you could do I think that's the cutest.
And then he tried to imitate my tic by making a high pitched "boop" sound and failed miserably, lol. Yep. That's a homeless college drop out's reaction to Tourette's. Better than I thought it would be, but still I was not too fond of his comments. I get the "oh that's really cute" reaction to that particular tic quite a lot and it usually doesn't bother me too much but I was not to fond of the comment about it sounding like my boyfriend was feeling me up or his attempt to imitate it. Luckily though regardless of Duke's comments he understood and didn't comment on it the next time I ticced or any other time for the rest of the night. All 4 of us spent the evening down in Lipstick's basement watching the super bowl. I was ticcing for a good portion of the time, and of course Kitty and Speed Racer didn't mind because they are so used to it and I am pretty sure Duke was okay with it too. He didn't make any other comments on it that would make me think otherwise. Overall, I think they all seemed more preoccupied with Duke's stories of legal offences, run ins with the cops, drug experiences, and how he manages to eat most of his daily meals. It was kind of interesting though I'd have to admit. Maybe i'll do my next documentary about homeless street kids. Lol.
No comments:
Post a Comment