OCD is Exhausting....

Sometimes I spend time obsessing over my Tourette's because of my OCD. Of course it's a vicious cycle of worry that helps no one, but it's just so hard to stop myself sometimes. This morning was one of those days. I stand in the shower thinking to myself that it's my fault I have Tourette's, that somehow I gave it too myself, and that things could have been different if I thought about it differently. I know medically this isn't true at all, but it's easy for me to get stuck on these thoughts. Then I remember all the tics I had as a kid before I even knew what Tourette's was. I try to convince myself that I did nothing wrong, I didn't give myself Tourette's, that would be impossible. I hate OCD, it's so irrational. Then I start thinking that I somehow gave myself OCD by wanting to have it....why would I ever want to have OCD?!? My dad and all of his brothers have OCD, and my brother has OCD and ADHD, it's genetic! My first cousin has Tourette's for goodness sake! On top of that I have video proof of myself ticcing at age 3 and 4 and countless pictures caught mid tic or of my raw and damaged lips from my picking, biting, and licking tics. When I watch these videos, it helps me remember that I did have tics as a child, but then I start thinking that maybe only I see the tics in these videos and maybe others wouldn't think they were tics.....OCD is exhausting..... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dgQypFqw89Y&feature=youtu.be