Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Meeting my First Person At my College who also has TS!

I just met my first other person at my university who has TS. It makes me feel less alone on campus to know someone personally now who has TS on campus too. Her tics are more mild than mine, and she told me she doesn't really talk about it with other people at school really, but still it makes me feel less alone and it was definitively cool to be walking on campus with her for about 5 minutes (until we had to go separate ways) getting to talk about TS and how we have been involved in our state's TSA's. She was in the first group that ever got trained as youth ambassadors which I think is really cool, especially since when I found out about the Youth ambassador program I was too old for it. I told her how i'm a counselor at camp twitch and shout hoping she would be interested, but she said that if she ever went to camp she would come home crazy. Which is true, I did come home crazy with my tics really bad, but it only lasted a few days until they went back down to their normal level.

Anyway, I thought it was just neat to meet her and talk with her for those 5 minutes. When I think about it those 5 minutes were enough. Enough to make me feel like I am not the only person at my college who has TS and has to deal with tics, enough to let me know I am not alone even though most of the time it feels like I am the only one. It was a nice 5 minutes, a nice conversation, and a nice connection. Even though it was only a 5 minute connection, it was a connection none the less. 

I told myself I wasn't going to message her on facebook afterwards though because I didn't want to ruin things. I didn't want to ruin those 5 minutes, and I know I get upset if I message someone and they never message me back, but then I remembered that I know someone she might know from her hometown TSA and I just couldn't help myself, I had to message her and see if she knew the person I know otherwise it would have nagged at me and nagged at me until I messaged her. Thanks OCD...... anyway, I seem to have this hope that she will message me back and that we will become friends because she just seems like a really cool person regardless of the fact that we both have TS, but I think its probably more likely that those 5 minutes we talked will be the only 5 minutes we ever talk one on one even though we are both on the disability awareness committee and both have TS. I guess I feel this way because I have been feeling pretty low lately and don't want to get my hopes up. I miss my two best friends who of course go to different colleges than I do, I miss the closeness I have with them and feel like although I have a decent amount of friends, I am having trouble finding that closeness in college. I feel like a lot of my friendships here can be very surface level and like I can't talk to them about deeper things and have them understand me like my two best friends from home do. I miss closeness, and understanding, and the ease of making friends that I experienced at camp twitch and shout. It's just not that easy here at college. It's hard. 

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