Tuesday, September 24, 2013

A Rough Night and Seeking Help

Last night was really rough for me. I think it was one of the roughest night's i've had, and i've had a fair amount of rough nights. It took me about two hours to fall asleep in the first place because my tics were so bad, then I got about an hour of really restless unsatisfying sleep and then I woke up because of my tics. 

For about two or three more hours I couldn't stop scratching and ticcing. At first I thought this itching thing was just a sensory reaction or possibly a tic, but now it's just getting worse and worse to the point where its pretty much constant. I am starting to think it's some kind of anxiety reaction, but I'm really not sure. I'm in the process of trying to figure that out now, but last night was really rough. The itching thing really made me frustrated and my tics got really really bad and wouldn't stop no matter what I tried. My entire body was jerking really hard and all of my muscles were contracting and locking up. At one point it was so bad that I felt like I was going to throw up. This was the first time I have ever felt like that because of tics, so I started panicking which made everything worse of course and it was just a vicious cycle of ticcing and panicking and frustration.....I am really hoping today my tics are going to be better but so far the itching isn't any better yet....

I've reached the point where I really do need outside help. First I am going to try to see someone to try to figure out what this itching thing is all about and then I'm going to try to get help from someone who knows more about Tourette's than I do. It's hard to think sometimes that I doctor or therapist would know any more about Tourette's than I do, but I have to maintain some hope that someone can help me. I want to try to avoid tic medication to see if I can get things under control without it first before I turn to medication.

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