Last night was my family Hanukkah party which I posted about a tiny bit before the party started. The onions were really bothering my eyes and were really triggering my facial tics. I was hoping that the stinging feeling in my eyes would go away when the party started, but the feeling in my eyes from the onions lasted pretty much all night. I guess I have my sensory processing issues to thank for that. So pretty much the whole night I was unable to suppress most of my facial tics like I usually am. I was suppressing all of my bigger tics of course such as my vocal tics (barking, my ray gun sounding tic, gasping, and my other squeaking/puppy dog sounding tics) and my bigger motor tics like hitting my chest and my larger head jerking and arm jerking movements.
I still had lots of fun at the party though! I look forward to our Hanukkah party every year. I was so glad that my two best friends from high school could be there with me too. I was able to go up with them to my bedroom or to play with the dog in my parents room when I needed to let out some of my bigger tics. I told both of them earlier in the month that I had started taking a new medication for my tics, Clonidine, and when we went upstairs and I started letting out my bigger tics like hitting myself in the chest, they asked me how the medication was and if it was helping. I told them that I couldn't quite tell if my medication was helping yet but that I didn't think it was helping that much and that it has side effects like lightheadedness and lack of appetite. They told me though that I seemed to be ticcing a lot less than the last time we hung out. The last time we hang out though was right after I came back from camp twitch and shout when my tics were SO crazy from being around everyone at camp, so really any level of ticcing would seem more mild than that! I'm still convinced that the medication isn't doing anything besides giving me side effects and it's been a month now that i've been on it.
Anyway, at the party one of my friends said something to me that was so sweet and made my night! She said that sometimes when she is with her friends at school one of them will make a Tourette's joke and do something silly and then afterwards say "hahaha dude I have Tourette's". She told me that whenever she hears someone make a comment like this she'll immediately say back "Hey, that's not funny. My best friend has Tourette's." I think this is so sweet of her and I love that she says this. It made my night!
I mostly hung out with my two best friends during the party, but I always feel like I want to talk more with my cousin who also has Tourette's. I didn't talk too much with her last night though because there were so many people at the party and I was so busy trying to keep up with talking to my two best friends, talking with my family, and escaping to my bedroom to let out my bigger tics. The last time I texted with my cousin she told me that she is on the Clonidine patch and on the patch she is 100% tic free. Although one of her tics is punching other people and last night I saw her punch her dad. While I thought that she might have been just fooling around, I also think it may very well have been a tic because the punch looked pretty darn hard to me. It looked like there was a lot of force behind it, the kind of force that is usually behind a tic. Who knows though, I might be wrong, but it just looked like such a forceful punch, too forceful for just playing around. Maybe I will text her tonight and apologize for not talking to her much and ask her if her meds are still working for her because my meds are not working yet for me! Frustrating!
Another thing that happened during the party was that my uncle made fun of my dysgraphia which my mom was not to happy about. My mom told me to address the cards for the gifts to my cousins, and I did. I have dysgraphia though which comes along with the Tourette's. It's basically like dyslexia but for handwriting. My handwriting has always been a struggle for me and even with Occupational Therapy to try to help improve the dysgraphia and with tutoring as well my handwriting still looks like the handwriting of a young child and there's not much I can do about it even when I put all my effort into making the writing look neat. Sometimes I will also mix up my letters when writing such as write a "b" instead of a "d" and I find it very difficult to write in a straight line and not have my line of writing slant.
So when my cousin opened up the card I had addressed, my uncle said "who addressed these cards?". I said I addressed them and that I know my handwriting isn't very good. His response was "Yeah. It looks like a first grader wrote it!". I laughed and kind of went along with the joke saying that it would have looked more like a kindergartners handwriting if I hadn't put so much effort into it. My mom was apparently upset by this though and later on said to me that she didn't like how my uncle was making fun of my handwriting. I was okay with it because i'm used to people joking around about my tics and other associated disorders and mostly enjoy when it's made light of, but I guess it really did upset my mom!
Anyway, I also need to make a post about my brother and the surprising kindness he showed me last night. But I have to go to a dinner thing now with my grandpa and cousins from my moms side who are in town, so I will post about my brother later!
Also the camp twitch and shout counselor reunion is coming up shortly and i'm sooooo excited!!! I get to see some of my co-counselors who I love and other counselors from camp too!!! Sooooo excited!!!!