When I went to the front office, the lady who is usually there was somewhere else and the school nurse was taking her place for the afternoon I guess. I told her about my car situation and she wrote down my name and car type so I wouldn't get a ticket. Then she said "You're Ruthie right?", I replied that yes I was and then she said "You don't come see me but I know who you are! I watched the first 4 parts of your documentary and I'm going to watch the last part very soon and it's great!".
Wow, this thing seems to be getting around the school! I didn't send it to her of course because I don't know her, but I guess my dean or adviser sent it to her. I think its really cool that she had watched it and that she knew me, but for some reason I thought of the little boy from the "I have Tourette's but Tourette's doesn't have me" HBO documentary who says "You feel like a marked man, like people already know you". In this case, I kind of felt "marked" as the little boy called it, but not exactly in the same way. I felt like people may know me because I have Tourette's and yes, that may be the only reason they know who I am, but at the same time I felt okay with that because I know that people know that I am not ashamed of having it and that I put myself out there in order to educate others about the condition. So in this way they know more about me than just the fact I have Tourette's. They know that I am the kind of person who does not hide behind their differences, who wants to help and educate others, and who is an advocate. This little encounter helped to start off the day nicely and made me feel kind of special.
After this I went to the learning specialist's office to take my last exam. The freshman from the other day was in there too once again and we both sat down to take our exams. I immediately realized that the exam was really hard and that our teacher had not prepared us well for what to expect at all. As I got further and further into it I started kinda freaking out more and more. My tics just got worse and worse and I was doing one of my lip noise tics along with many others.
When the freshman went to the bathroom, the learning specialist asked me if I was alright and said "Your ticcing is worse today, are you more stressed or something?". I explained to her how the exam was nearly impossible and she asked me about my teacher and talked with me for a little bit. Talking about it actually really helped because I calmed down quite a bit and my brain was in less of a negative spiral. She seemed to know just how to help and then later she gave me some candy which helped too. I'm just glad I'm done with exams. I tried my best, and it will be what it will be. Luckily it will be on a curve though so maybe everyone else did just bad enough so that I might end up with an okay grade. We'll have to wait and see.
I Have Tourette's but Tourette's Doesn't Have Me (Video Clip)
(Riley 2:49- "You feel like a marked man, like people already know you")