Had a rough day of tics today and I was yelping loudly and jerking my body pretty violently in a good majority of my classes. It was a long long day and not a very fun one. I only have 3 more days left of official classes as a senior at my high school and I have SOOOO much work. Tests, projects, essays, exams, and much more. It is a very stressful time, so no wonder my tics are bad right now. To make matters worse, I had an incident with one of my teachers (Ms. P) that made me feel very self conscious and frustrated.
Ms. P is very very strict and gets mad when people try to leave to go to the bathroom during class. In my specialized learning plan though it specifies that if I need to leave the room when I am having a lot of tics that I can, no questions asked. Sometimes my tics just get really bad in class and I need to walk around, get a drink of water, and/or go somewhere to really let my tics out. The problem is that Ms. P is just so used to me yelping and jerking in class that I think she must have forgotten about this accommodation. My tics were getting really bad and I needed to get up and walk around so I asked to go to the bathroom, but like I said Ms. P forgot about my accommodation. I guess my yelps and jerks are so normal for her and everyone else in the class. This can of course be a very good thing, but in this case it had its downside. She wouldn't let me leave the class at first and kept asking "Is it an emergency??" "Is it urgent??". What kind of question is this? I am a senior in high school and I should be allowed to leave the class without asking permission, any time I want, regardless of if I have accommodations or not! I was not going to say to the entire class "My tics are really bad and I need to get out of here walk around or pretty soon I am just about going to fall over and be writhing around on your floor!" Okay so maybe I am exaggerating just a bit here, lol.
Anyway by the time she eventually let me leave the classroom I was so flustered and anxious that I wasn't really in the clearest state of mind. She asked me to bring my phone up to her desk so she knew I wasn't leaving to text, but because I was so ticcy and anxious I brought my computer up to her desk instead of my cell phone. Computer....cell phone....same difference when you are so ticcy you can't hold your body still or stay quiet for more than 5 seconds! Ms. P proceeded to laugh at me in front of the entire class though and make a total scene out of my mistake. I was so embarrassed that she was laughing at me like this in front of the whole class and pointing out my mistake in such an obvious way. Have a heart lady...... I'm yelping and jerking my body so bad that I feel like I am going to fall over any second now....the least of my worries is if I bring the right piece of technology to your desk. I quickly told her I didn't have my phone with me and rushed out of the classroom. It took me about 5 minutes to collect myself again to the point where I was only yelping and jerking moderately, but I knew I had to get back in the classroom because Ms. P would surely be mad if I stayed out longer.
When I got back in, Ms. P said "Well look who decided to join us again....." in a very derogatory manner. I must have looked like a dog with its tail in between its legs scooting back to my seat. Not my finest moment. I was so pissed but also embarrassed at the same time! I wanted to go to my friend the learning specialist and tell her the whole story and get all my anger out, but I only have three days left of school, what would be the point? Thank god I will never have to deal with Ms. P again after these next three days.
My best friend Tie Dye made me feel better when I told her the story of what had happened. She agreed that Ms. P was totally out of line and that it was really rude of her to act that way towards me. It's not that she has it out to get me though, Ms. P has it out to get all of her students in general. She's one of those teacher who just hates teenagers I guess, no matter what their situation.
Oh and on a side note, I got my first paying job besides babysitting today!!! I am going to be an usher at the Opera Theater company in my area!!! I am so excited because all the other ushers are my age and I will get to meet new people and make new friends hopefully! Yay!