Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Happily ticcing my way through the day now that i'm back at school!

Well this will be a very quick post I think. Although every time I say that, I end up writing a really really long post, lol. Anyway today was my first day back to school after my 2 week spring break and I have to say I am glad to be back! I was worried that my tics were going to be really bad since it's the first day back, and even though my tics were pretty frequent and noticeable today I didn't mind it all that much. In fact, I was just relived to be back in school and surrounded by my friends who don't care if I tic or not.

It was such a relief to be able to let go and just let my tics out. I guess I don't always realize how much I actually suppress my tics when I am around my mom, brother, and dad. I don't know why I feel less comfortable ticcing around my family than around my friends, but it's just the way I feel. I guess it's because most of my friends really try to make me feel comfortable when I tic and try to just ignore it most of the time besides the occasional "you have the cutest tics" comment or the occasional "i'm really proud of you for being so open", or even the "your tics really don't bother me, in fact I think they're pretty cool" conversation.

Whereas, my parents particularly my mom, finds it difficult to look at my tics or compulsions in any sort of positive light and sees it as something that could hold me back or make people discriminate against me. She only sees my tics as a negative facet. I guess I feel more comfortable ticcing around my friends because they don't see my tics as something negative, rather just a part of me that makes me, well, "me"!

So today was really a relief more than anything. It felt so good to just let my tics go and not worry about what other people are thinking of me. Being in my high school with my classmates and friends is like being in a society that just understands Tourette's and understands that my tics are just part of me. Ever heard the phrase happily ticcing? Well if not, I just made it up! Today I was happily ticcing my way through the day surrounded by my amazing friends and classmates! I felt confident, on top of things, and more than anything I just felt like myself which is sometimes the best feeling of them all.

"Be what you are, and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind" -Dr. Seuss

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