Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Disapproving Stares....

Today I was in the bathroom doing my typical OCD hand washing ritual where I wash my hands for the exact amount of time it takes me to sing the abc's and count to 23 in my head. The sink wasn't draining very efficiently and the soap bubbles were starting to get a bit high. The problem was, I couldn't stop washing my hands yet to turn off the faucet. A girl walked in while I was still washing my hands and while the soap bubbles were still high and stared at me first with a look of confusion and then gave me a look of utter disgust.

This is the stare I hate the most of all. It is even worse than when someone turns around to look at me when I tic. This is the look that happens when the person who has encountered me in a situation where my behavior differs from the norm has decided to judge me in a highly negative way and then chooses to let me know they have judged me.

I am not a horrible person and I am not crazy. I just have OCD and Tourette's. Please Please think before you give someone you don't know a look of disgust. You do not know the person, you have no idea what battles they are fighting, and you have no idea what they are going through.

That stare of disapproval today hurt a lot. I will no doubt feel that stare of a good while. It is so hard to let it go. I know I should let it go but I just hate when I am judged for something that I can't control, something that I did not choose, and something that I struggle with every day. 

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