Well it's that time of year again that every ticcer seems to look forward to and dread at the same time, the holiday season. With all the commotion, excitement, preparation, and family, tics always seem to run rampant this time of year. Today is the day of my family's yearly Hanukkah party and my tics are getting pretty darn forceful.
After 5 months of CBIT treatment for my tics, my tics have been steadily decreeing, and i've started to get used to having less tics. However, coming home for winter break and having the holiday season has not been great for my tics. Being around my family members is very stressful for me (tic wise) and i'm sure those of you who have been following my blog for a while know why. For those of you who have not been following my blog, i'll just say this: I come from a family who values perfection and social status, and Tourette's doesn't really fit into that mold very well. Don't get me wrong, I love my family and I really do enjoy being home and spending time with them, but it's very rough on my tics and anxiety.
Being in my home environment has quickly made my tics increase. When I saw my CBIT therapist last week, she immediately noticed how much I was ticcing and told me she hadn't seen my tic this much in months. We discussed new strategies to try to decrease my tics in the home environment, such as taking "tic breaks" where I excuse myself to go to the bathroom while i'm around my family and just trying to spend less time around my family members (spending time with them in 30 min increments). These strategies seem to be helping to some extent, but my tics are still much worse than they have been over the past few months. As soon as i'm able to escape to a place where I can let my tics out, I start having so many facial tics, vocal tics, head and neck tics, and even full body tics. The other day I spent a solid period of time parked in a parking garage kicking, vocal ticcing, and jerking my body so hard that I felt my brain rattling around in my skull and got pretty dizzy.
Right now i'm up in my room while my parents prepare for the party. I've been helping prepare for the party quite a bit, but I had to escape to my room to tic and also to avoid the onion cutting. When my mom cuts onions for the Latkes for this party, my sensory processing issues go into overdrive as soon as my eyes feel any small amount of onion. It feels as if the onions are going in through my eyes and are filling my entire head with this sour and tingling feeling. The feeling will last for hours after the onions have been cut. Even though i've been avoiding the downstairs as much as I can, I've still gotten a bit of the onion feeling in my eyes. It's not nearly as bad as last year, but it's definitely still contributing to my tics.
I'm having a lot of tics right now. I hope they calm down for the party, but I kind of doubt they will. Luckily one of my very good friends will be coming to the party. Having her there will help me feel better, and like the previous years i'll be able to come upstairs with her to let out my bigger tics.
Anyway, I will probably make a post after the party is over about how it went. Happy Holidays to everyone and good luck to everyone trying to manage the holidays with tics!